Going through a divorce can almost feel like facing a death. The only difference is that you still have to see the person, which can cause you to mourn your loss all over again. You can’t be with them anymore, and they don’t want much to do with you, but you still have to interact with them. You have to split your life up like it’s just bits and pieces of furniture and belongings, instead of a home and family. And if your spouse wants a divorce but you still love them, it makes it even worse. If you still want your spouse back, you have to figure out why your spouse wants a divorce.
Have you grown apart? Many couples face this issue when they’ve been together for a while. Life happens. At first you share the same ideas about where you want to end up in life, but somewhere along the way the two of you have different ideas. Sometimes it’s because of boredom. Or a shift in career goals that makes your spouse feel like you are leaving them behind. Or maybe your children left the house, leaving you to face each other for the first time in 20 + years. Whatever the reason, if the two of you don’t share the same interests anymore, it can cause issues that lead to divorce.
Did one of you have an affair? Affairs are rarely caused by a wandering eye or even another person entering your life. Instead it is usually spurred on by something else going on within the marriage. Feeling neglected can make your spouse look elsewhere for attention. Or maybe they didn’t even know they felt that way until someone else came into the picture and reminded them of how they felt before they were married. Either way, if there is an emotional hole in your marriage, it can lead to infidelity.
Is your spouse feeling like you don’t appreciate them? Maybe you work long hours or have a lot of extracurricular activities you like to pursue. Or maybe the two of you don’t spend a lot of time together outside of work and family obligations. If your spouse feels like they are doing more than their fair share of household duties, and you aren’t, then it can lead to problems. Your spouse starts to feel like a maid more than a partner. This leads to a buildup of resentment over time, and it can cause your spouse to want a divorce.
No marriage is without problems. If your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t, it’s important that you look at what caused this rift between you and try to correct it, even if your spouse doesn’t want to. Even if you do end up getting a divorce in the end, you still need to face your problems head on so that you can learn from them and not repeat them with someone else.